Why being insecure/vulnerable is not a bad thing.

Very recently, I was talking to my mom about how important it is for us to be strong and not reveal our deep fears about life. She said it is very crucial for us to be strong but it should not cast a compulsion in your lives to not to express your fears or emotional vulnerability. I feel expressing your fears, isn’t a sign of weakness. It shows that you have the courage. When everybody says ‘I’m fine’, more often than not they do not mean it. Most people have a tendency to hide their day-to-day problems because they don’t want to show any weakness. They fear being judged.

 The grim reality of our lives is that right from the childhood we are conditioned not to express our insecurities or fears or anxieties. Parents, teachers often scold those kids who talk about the issues plaguing them and which in turn makes us to falsely believe that only emotions which are to be expressed are that of happiness and anger, while sorrows and fears are to be grieved in solitude or in other words one should bottle up such emotions. But research has proved that this tendency of bottling up emotions and not sharing them can cause some psychological problems and sometimes physical pain too.

Vulnerability to me is not a weakness but a symbol of us being human. It is often been wrongly associated with emotions like shame, grief and sadness – the type of emotions which we are not comfortable discussing about even as these affect us in more ways than one. It is because of this vulnerability that we sometimes get to enjoy love, courage and joy. Many authors believe that it is the source of hope and empathy.

Things which we should share but we don’t do it in reality;

• If we are going through a tough time in our bonding/relationship with anyone.
• When anyone has lost the job or is enduring a stressful environment at their workplace.
• If a person is suffering from a major illness.
• Insecurities about life.

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Mumbai Musings

I’ve always been amazed by what’s been said and written about ‘Mumbai’- The city which never sleeps. I have time and again wondered why people are walking so fast and are constantly in rush to catch a train or a bus. Why I am always looking outside the window, seeing the crowded roads filled with innumerable cars and autos. Why the roads are always choked with traffic. Why the prominent shopping destinations are never short of buyers. Why there are queues for autos and bright yellow taxis while it is opposite in other parts of the country. The city never relaxes; you’ll always find people moving in with energy and be it the people landing at the airport or the ones who are clinging on to train. It makes me wonder what is it that makes this place so radically different from other places.

Whenever you reach Mumbai, the first thing you would notice is the bustling traffic right from the dawn of the day till late into the night. It’s difficult not to like this city. There’s just something in its air, the rains which attracts people instantly. Anyone who lives in Mumbai for a substantial period of time would agree that they sooner or later fall in love with the city because of its different hues. The rains are unpredictable and many times it results into huge traffic jams. But, people react normally and within a blink of an eye umbrellas are opened, wipers are turned on and life moves on the same way as it were before. Even, the rain gods do not dampen the spirit of a ‘MumbaiKar’.

Mumbai is a land of opportunities with the presence of MNCs. Places like Nariman Point, Bandra-Kurla Complex with eye catching infrastructure, amongst many other places, can be easily called as the corporate hubs of the city. The city has some fantastic restaurants, the food which you won’t find in other parts of the country. The dabba or the tiffin system of the city is been praised all over. Their efficiency is something to imbibe in our lives. The view of the sea is majestic with nice breeze blowing around and it is perfect for a nice ‘me’ time. What’s most striking about Mumbai is that it carries the sky-scrapers and slums with equal ease. There are ‘sea facing life style apartments’, sprawling bungalows though it does not hide the dark face of the city. The city can be cruel and unforgiving at the same time if you do not find a proper place to stay on. Yet, there is something about Mumbai which is mesmerizing. People live different lives, but they all have that urgency which is almost synonymous with the city.

The streets of the city reveal a lot about life; how people work hard to earn their livelihood, how hard work is directly related to success. The traffic policemen are working as efficient as any other place to manage the flow of vehicles. There are people who are walking behind, beside and ahead of you. You will struggle to keep up. Though, the motive of everyone is almost the same; to make a mark, earn a living, live a comfortable life or simply do right things at the right time. These are the faces with dreams, hopes, and aspirations from the different parts of the country.

Why having wonderful teachers is as important as having a best friend in our life

‘A teacher is like a candle- it will burn itself to help others.’

As I write this I am filled with memories of my school and college days. I am still studying but the magic of education of those days has evaporated. There have been some wonderful moments and some embarrassing ones too but the most satisfying part has been that I’ve been blessed with some of the most wonderful human beings as my teachers, mentors, guides, friends and many times they’ve been like my parents too. In fact, it’s because of their support, appreciation and guidance that I’ve been able to start this blog.

Teachers/professors are like beacons of radiance that guide us and nurture us into becoming better human beings and in the process they easily get to know about our potential. Their direction is something which hits the bulls’ eye almost every time and they affect eternity; because their few words of veneration can create a lot of difference in the lives of us students. The profession is very noble since they have to give more by way of soul, heart and to expect less by way of material gain. And yet, we see so many wonderful human beings taking up this profession and make our formative years a joy to fall back on. They shape destinies, instill self confidence, belief in their wards and create or rather ‘formulate’ miracles in the lives of their students.

And their wisdom is not just restricted to academics; their experiences on life and living help us in many ways. Some of the most best discussions that I’ve had have always been with my teacher about a particular social issue. Those discussions have always been enriching and something which you might not get it from your ‘best friend’.

And talking about my own experience with my teacher(s) I’d like to go back in time not much though. My first day in college. As I entered the campus, it was crowded with lots of people with funky hairstyles moving in here and there, soon I got to know my classroom and very reluctantly I stepped in. School was very different in more ways than one. The environment there was comforting.

But here, I found myself in a decently sized room with more than hundred other students. Feeling out of sync with the atmosphere, I was getting anxious about whether I’ll be able to survive in this sort of an environment. I took a seat amongst the last few benches as I didn’t want myself to get noticed in the class.

And then, one of the economics professors, walked into the class. There was silence in the class as she started with her usual work and then proceeded with the introduction of the class. I was very shy and did as I was asked to. She taught us micro-economics in the first year starting with the discussions about basic definitions of economics by celebrated economists like Adam Smith, Marshall and others. She explained everything very easily and I understood how economics affects our day to day life. That lecture was a pure delight. She received every response with a sense of encouragement as she told us in the beginning that she wanted us to share, to engage in discussions. I felt comfortable and as the day came to a close I was very happy about my first day at college.

As the year and the term went on, economics became more and more interesting for me and I enjoyed the depth of the subject. I kept looking forward to her next class, about the topic which we will discuss. She taught us with lots of dedication and conviction. I started sitting in the front few benches from the last benches and college was all about attending lectures to me.
Over the course of my three years of undergraduate study, my bonding with my teacher grew and blossomed. I was part of the editorial team of our college magazine in which she was the editor-in-chief during the second year. She encouraged me to think positively and express with confidence. My knowledge about the subject grew by leaps and bounds. There were a lot of qualities which I admired about her but the one which I like is that she does everything with dedication and passion.

During the college, I have been extremely lucky to have some of the most amazing teachers who have all helped me to grow but this special teacher stands out. She taught to me to explore, to expand, to spread our wings and fly. I have been very blessed to have her as my teacher, guide, mentor, friend and everything which I’ve missed out writing here. It is through my experiences that I’ve realized how much teachers contribute in a life of a human being.  

Lastly, I can say with all the conviction in the world that having a wonderful teacher is crucial in life for you may not know where her influence stops. They understand us and if we seek their guidance our life becomes a lot easier. That is why I always believe that teachers are as important as any other person in our life. They can be our best friends and our parents at the same time.      

Have a little faith.!

Few days back, I was having a conversation with my mother on how quickly things change in life and I nodded in agreement when she said ‘Whatever may be the situation if we are able to maintain a little equilibrium or sanity along with a little bit of faith then we’ll able to face anything with a certain equanimity.’ I was amazed at the wisdom of this lady who has seen it all and it is worthwhile to talk to your parents and teachers about life in general and the problems which we face.

Coming back to the theme, I think it’s very important to have faith otherwise you’ll end up frustrated more often than not. We all know that life goes through different phases, sometimes it’s good, and sometimes it’s bad and then good again. There’s a constant change which does not allow us to get too comfortable in our respective lives. And, that’s the best part of it. Can you imagine how it would be like things never changed? We would not have been able to appreciate laughter if there were no tears. There would not be any celebration of success if you haven’t faced failures. How would you feel that feeling of being loved exclusively if you haven’t felt the pain of being sidelined? It’s like life’s never a straight line but one which is constantly moving in different directions.

The lows in life keep you grounded whereas the highs give insurmountable confidence. A continued success without any hiccups can make a man arrogant and over-confident. He starts feeling as if he can do anything may be even fly. And, looking at some people it might seem as if they live a life full of roses but to be honest I don’t think that is possible although exceptions might be there. They all have their good and bad days. They do not let their better times go their head nor do they get too perturbed by failures. For they know one might follow another. The key as most of the philosophers say about life is to maintain equilibrium and keep a steady head. For most of us including me, it is always a challenge to keep a calm head every time but the true strength is revealed only when we maintain calmness through the various twists and turns of life.

To keep a steady head is no easy task and it comes from a willingness to change as according to the times. There is a time for everything. Time to attack. Time to just sit back and go defensive. Time to go with the flow and not think too much. A person who is wise enough to recognize the response which a particular situation demands then he is sure to succeed in his endeavors. One of the most glaring examples of dramatic ups and downs in life is actor Anupam Kher. Entered the industry with a bang and then reached the lows during his stint in business. He was back again. He believes that there are thorns too in life but it is how well we keep ourselves during those times is what defines us as a person. There will always be some hurdles to deal with.

I feel it is this knowledge, this sense of self-attainment which helps people like him or any other person maintain sanity and peace with themselves. It all depends on us what we do with either good times or the bad times. Some people will make the best of the opportunities while others might not utilize it the way they should. You might be complaining about your luck or poor fortunes during bad times, others would use it to their advantage by learning lessons of wisdom, grit and determination.

The basic underlying fact is that life is moves inexplicably; a journey of self-discovery but it is up to us to keep learning, what it offers at every level. May be we should look more at opportunities than constraints (easy to say, hard to implement). The good and the bad times follow each other; this is what I have learnt till date.

The crucial thing here is to keep the faith alive. With emotions like hope and faith, there’s always some positive energy involved which will galvanize us. All we need to fix in our minds is that each and every situation has its place in life. If you feel you are at the low point of life then be sure that the high awaits you and vice versa. But, that is no reason to start a slide yourself by becoming lazy and direction-less.

Reservation Policy; The need for change

Ask your heart what thoughts come to your mind, when you hear the word ‘reservation’. For all general category students, a big frowning face filled with anger and somewhat hatred towards the system and for those who benefit from it, just a smile would do to reflect their state of mind.

Reservation policy has a long standing history in our country ever since the pre-independence era and it has continued before finally being introduced in 1990 after going through the recommendations of Mandal Commission. The basis for bringing in such a policy was to ensure that the perceived backward castes get equal opportunities for growth and development.  And, since India was a country in which social problems like ‘untouchability’ were deeply rooted, it was introduced to bring the people belonging to backward castes into national picture by giving them ample opportunities as claimed by the government back then. As decades went by this reservation policy was used by political parties to appease minorities by giving them reservations which is quite evident with the fact  that, as of 2006 number of castes in backward castes have gone up to 2297 which is an increase of 60% from the list originally drafted by the Mandal Commission.

There were quite a few decisions by courts which were upturned by the ruling government through the amendment of laws and constitution in favor of a reservation system which in turn paved the way for vote bank politics. And, today if we say that Reservations scheme has worked wonders for masses till now, it obviously means that they and their families do not need reservation any more. And, if we say that our country is still poor in spite of reservations, then it is very evident that the scheme has failed to achieve its purpose and needs to be reconsidered or redesigned.

And to further analyze this scheme, it is questionable whether the people who benefit from it actually deserve that position or a seat. And in case of prestigious educational institutes which require a certain degree of excellence these people just do not belong there. This is why meritocracy should always be preferred over reservation. If people get what they deserve then it is definitely a step in the right direction. Quotas and special scholarships in education for backward groups have caused a lot of resentment amongst the general applicants who toil hard for extremely competitive spots in colleges cutting across different branches. This has hampered the growth of our institutions and students as in spite of their talent and ability there are unable to gain the desired results.

India has lost its’ pace for the development only because of the reservation as more competent people were not offered the places which they deserved and many still feel that reservation has divided people on the caste lines. Another flaw of this caste based reservations is that it will endanger animosity toward backward groups as well as on the part of backward groups themselves, whose main problem in some cases has been their own inadequacy combined with their resentment of non-backward groups who without preferences, consistently outperform them.    

In 2014, I feel there’s no place for a caste based reservation system. For a country which thrives on its secular credentials, this system is an aberration to that widely accepted notion. The overall benefits from this sort of an arrangement are probably limited and a very negligible minority has benefitted from it according to a study of income data by caste in 2005-06. If a very small group succeeds within a predominantly disadvantaged group should it continue to enjoy quotas from the state? Rather than discussing the better implementation of the existing system, politicians focus on extending this benefit to a new set of people thereby enhancing their vote bank.

The fact is India is a society in dynamic transition, where community identities are blurring and individual consciousness is on the rise. And so, there is a need to structurally change this reservation policy. A reservation based on a financial position of an individual is a much better option especially when poverty has been an issue for our country for the last many decades. Poverty is deeply infested in our country cutting across all caste lines. It would benefit poor from the upper caste. This will make sure that all poor people benefit, instead of people of just certain castes or religion or gender, some of whom might actually be from a non-poor background.