Ours is a nation of young people. We celebrate youthful
exuberance, fearlessness, sometimes brashness too but in a nation that
celebrates, adores and focuses way too much on youngsters and their dreams,
there are citizens who are in the twilight of their lives and face a lot of
problems which do not get the same mention as that of any other issue facing us.
The people to whom I am referring to have loads of experience, knowledge of
various sorts, amazing foresights derived from the ugly turns of life that they
have dealt with. Our senior citizens or elderly people get the rough end of
the stick everywhere in life with high medical bills coupled with poor health
care facilities, rising costs of living and their own children ditching them.
The traditional values lay stress on giving respect and
taking care of older people and this has been challenged these days. Our family
values are changing or have changed quite a lot with nuclear families being
preferred over the traditional joint families because of generational gaps,
change in lifestyles. Even when they are living together there is rampant
marginalization, isolation, and emotional insecurity being felt by the elderly.
This has a lot to do with our changing priorities. Now, accumulating wealth or
professional success is on the top of the tree for most of us and in the process
our elderly people are neglected.
There are currently 90 million senior citizens in our
country and this number is expected to cross 170 million in the next 25 years.
Apart from the economic and health problems the elders are also subjected to a
lot of abuse with son and daughter in law being the prime abusers (according to
a survey by HelpAge India). Elders from the lower socio economic strata are in an
even worse situation. Another shocking statistic is that 75% of those who faced
abuse lived with the family and 69% were owners of the house in which they were
living. With a view to safeguard the interests of the senior citizens the
government has come up with several bills like The Maintenance and Welfare of
Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007, National Policy of Older persons among
others. But, most of the elderly refrain from reporting those instances of
abuse which is very sad.
And, one thing which is often ignored is the fact that
our upbringing comes with a view that ‘Provider is the dictator’ and parents
control their kids’ choices right till the very end and when that kid grows the
roles are reversed and then the parents face the music of his dictatorship.
This overemphasis on money and the continuance of the tradition of controlling
the kids hampers the growth of the children. Parents should respect, love and
value their offspring and not boss over him/her. This patriarchal mindset will not
improve the relationship. The parents should lead by example by displaying love
and affection towards their own parents and I think that’s the best way to
teach a kid how to respect elders.
But, over and above it’s really sad to see them
isolated, lonely and devoid of any emotional security whatsoever. It’s still
the job of children to take care of their parents no matter how old they get. It
should not be about doing it out of compulsion but it should be out of love and
care. I have seen some of the older people doing petty jobs to survive just
because all their property was swallowed up by his son. Such stories shatter my
faith in humanity and bring tears. I wish that all those elders who have been
betrayed by their own blood get immense strength and courage to fight for their
rights against their son(s). Let us pledge to respect our elders; they have a
lot to offer.
One quote of Francis Bacon with which I’d like to end this;
‘The joy of the parents are secret and so are their
grief’s and fears’.
