45 Life Lessons written by a 90 year old

This is an article/points which I read somewhere and I found this very stimulating. It is written by a 90 year old. Here it is;

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it. 

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family  will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Why the hatred and violence towards women?

As you read this, there might be a woman being beaten mercilessly by her husband for no fault of hers or something more gruesome. There has always been the need for an environment in which women feel safe and secure but there is no stopping to the cases of domestic violence. And not just domestic violence the spike in the cases of rape, acid attacks, wife-beating, harassment for dowry do not present a pleasant commentary to all of us. The statistics generally do not paint a correct picture by the understatement of the figures but those numbers are ridiculously high even and to add to that there are some more untold stories of pain and suppression. Some sadist men also revel in scaring a woman. A friend recounts an incident where she was leaving the parking lot of a multiplex, when two men drove right up to her and all the while leering as well. As she was scared and her hands were shaking; they drove away laughing out loud. Be it urban or rural India there is no respite for the ‘XX chromosome’. Even high profile women like Jiah Khan, Rihanna and Halle Berry among others have endured domestic abuse.

The question arises why is it that men hate women to an extent that they start beating them up? One of the reasons for this cowardly act is that it emerges from ‘Insecurity’. The ‘Insecurity’ of being taken over by a woman who wields power through different ways and is competent enough to hold their own over them. A man’s need and desire brings him towards woman and he is rather afraid of the fact that she might reduce the sense of power of which he is so proud of. Also, a man generally has powers in different verticals of life and that feeling of dominating the opposite gender seeps in rather quickly. They feel that women need to be dominated in order to establish their own swagger.

For generations people have maintained hypocrisy when it comes to virginity. A man’s mere word or even the act is accepted but if a woman does a similar thing then she is being branded as character less. What this has done is that it has made young boys feel as if there is no accountability attached to them and this thinking bereft of any logic has resulted into blaming the rape survivor for acts like rape, harassment rather than the male aggressor. The very act of sex has the male as a driving force while woman is a recipient; this allows many men to falsely believe the myth of his superiority and the woman’s submission.

Another interesting thing to be noted is that men who indulge in activities relating to physicality are termed as ‘studs’ while women in the similar scenario are termed as ‘sluts’, ‘whores’ etc. In this case, the language which we use is also derogatory.                                                                   

And many times some regressive thinking women or rather aunties I should say join this women hating club. They seem to have some bias or envy with their own gender. Don’t understand what triggers them to do that but I have seen that happening.

Religion too has made its contribution in keeping the hatred for woman a continuous activity. According to Ramayana, a woman has to be a devoted wife at any cost and that too after sacrificing her personal happiness for the sake of her husband. A man’s mere word is taken as the truth while a woman has to prove her innocence. This is the feature of the hypocritical society which we live in. Repeated exposures to these theories of a submissive woman shape the behaviour of young boys growing up. We need to accept the problem and then we can work to fix it.

For all the hatred and violence to end we need to consciously respect each and every woman in our life starting from homes to everyone in the society.

A Walk That You Should Not Miss

Last month, I went to the ‘Heritage Walk’ organized by Ahmedabad Municipal Corporation and once again I was enchanted by the beauty of the architecture of old Ahmedabad. Heritage walk is a guided tour where we get to visit our old city and an opportunity to revisit the glorious heritage of this city. The architecture is very old but the way it’s been built is simply magnificent.

The walk starts with a beautiful slide show at 8.00 am at Swaminarayan temple in Kalupur and ends at Jama Masjid. The tour has several attractions like Kavi Dalpatram Chowk, Jain temples among others. Walking through the narrow lanes with many temples around was a sight to behold. If you happen to have just a passing interest in the old architecture and sights then you are sure to enjoy this walk. And if you don’t have any interest then you should have for these architectures are very rare. There are neither loud noises nor any stinking drains. Everything is managed efficiently. I was particularly mesmerized by the underground Jain Temple which has some excellent facilities for storing rain water. 

 

This is the map of the Walk.

The 'Chabutra' or 'Bird feeder'.

We need to take steps like these (promoting heritage walks and other such initiatives) to preserve our majestic past. All and all the journey had some impressive array of house styles, wood carvings, water wells. The guide cum volunteer also spoke with great élan and it was a fascinating experience.

Hello Dreamers

Driving through the rains few weeks back, I noticed a woman dancing with aplomb in the middle of the road. She looked like someone who was completely lost in the atmosphere and gave me an impression that she cared very little for the audience. And yet, her enthusiasm and energy made passers-by smile. She was able to rise above her present circumstance and not dwell in reality which raised her spirits. She had her own demons to fight but she chose to grow above all that and escaped reality.

What struck me was the way she could express her delight even in a situation in which I saw her. A rush of madness always gives us an excuse to escape reality and act according to our will. But we all seek to escape reality sometimes to find comfort in a world where thoughts become a reality. That sort of a world appears a bit more appealing than the one that surrounds us. Mind wandering. Daydreaming. You can call it what you want to, but the mind does have a tendency to move away from the present confines. Sometimes even in our daily chores we are unaware of the things happening around us as the mind wanders. We do it even without realizing. Don’t we indulge in some dreaming while on a walk? Or listening to music on the headphones?

Moving away from the current scenario is definitely a need we all very consciously feel. And there is no better way than creating a world with the help of imagination. We can alienate ourselves from the everyday drudgery. In that moment your dream takes you for a joyride. We don’t realize when this daydreaming happens but it happens for sure. Sometimes a good movie or a good book transports you to an altogether different world and you feel bad when it ends. Daydreaming gives mind a much needed break. It makes us to shed all those inhibitions regarding the fact and reason and gives us the platter to broaden our horizons of imagination. This detachment sometimes works as a therapy in conflict management as well. Many a times athletes, poets, writers, painters etc report their most inspirational moments during the bouts of Daydreaming.

It is a way to leave the world behind and ponder about what you could've been. I don’t see any reason why we should feel guilty for daydreaming. It is these moments of liberation many times that gives us the reasons to live. So as long as we don’t hurt anyone why should we refrain from it? But we need to see that the dream should not be such that it wipes out the difference between dream and reality.